Disclaimer: This is a satire. I hold no intention to offend any individual or institution.
Just sworn in as the MHRD Minister, Smriti Irani kept the age old MHRD tradition of squeezing in a dozen more IITs at the start of the new government session. She said that this was important for the growth and economy of Irani pariwar, as the only way her nephews could get admission in the IITs was if every street had one. One of the press reporters asked her what would happen if she fell short of streets for new IITs in the coming years. She promptly replied that she will work along with the Infrastructure Minister to construct more streets to accommodate newer IITs.
This created tension amongst the directors of the current IITs and they held a conference to raise their concerns. Smriti answered all their issues and convinced them about her decision by citing a recent research conducted at Sweety University, which says that IITs can reproduce faster than fungus. This research was conducted by the pest control officers, who also work as part time professors at Sweety University. Convinced with the research, Directors decided to give their consent for opening new IITs only on one condition that they get to be the directors of the new IITs, post retirement age. Smriti readily agreed.
“The IIT students are not very happy with my decision, however, seeing a general trend of being unhappy in their lives, I can’t help it” said Smriti, at a convocation ceremony. Students are worried that this will bring down the brand value of the IITs. Students also showed a concern for the severe faculty crunch and asked Smriti, “Where will you get enough professors from?” She hastily replied that she knew a lot of people in the TV industry who could “play the role” of professors with their natural acting skills. After hearing this, some of the students banged their head on the walls, while others safely relied on weed.
P.S. I originally authored this article for Faking News. Here is the link: