“Not many Indians today, know what it felt like to be slaves to the English men. Our performance in this test match is an honest endeavour to educate our youth about being ruled over by England,” said a senior member of Indian Cricket Team in a press conference.
The test match has been going on for 4 days now and just a handful of people know about it. Completely unaware of the Indian cricket team being at the brink of defeat, most cricket fans in India are religiously tuned to the Common Wealth Games at Glasgow, cheering for the Indian wrestlers and shooters. Even who do remember the cricket match, are enthused by the variety of events being telecast in the common wealth games and they often forget switching channels.
Taking complete advantage of the step treatment to cricket, Indian cricket players have stretched their limits in ensuring agonizing performances in this match. Players have been clearly told by the experts that the Television Ratings have fallen down drastically and the chances that stones will be pelted at their homes for a bad performance are very less! To add to the drama, Kabaddi is trying to seek undue attention out of nowhere with the Pro Kabaddi league. Ofcourse the efforts have gone all in vain. But, already used to being ignored by all, the Kabaddi Players are having a laugh, watching the plight of Indian Cricket!
On the flip side, BCCI is extremely happy with the turn of events. The BCCI officials have given a statement that Missing catches, throwing directionless, bowling short and misjudging the spin comes naturally to out cricket players and we should let them play their natural game. “Emotional players in Indian cricket team could not bear the pain of so many allegations being put over Cook, the captain of English Cricket team, in the last match. A tragic performance in this match was the last resort for them to save Cook’s grace,” said the BCCI President.
In conclusion, BCCI has made a strong decision to club the timing of the major cricket series lined ahead, with Asian Games and London Olympics.
Originally written for Faking News
Credits for the Title: Thank you Col Ravinder Singh (Dad) for suggesting the title for this post. You’re the best!
Disclaimer: Before you jump the gun, this piece of work is a satire and I mean no offence to an individual, institution, group or a belief system. This post was originally written for Faking News, so obviously it’s fake. But not really far from reality!